So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
