guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
