I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
