I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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