It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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