I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize