Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
