I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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