friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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