When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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