Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
