there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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