why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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