I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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