True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i came on her dog
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
