So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
