I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
