It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
