I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
