Cold hands, warm shart.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
