Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
