I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
