Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
