dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
