i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
