Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
