why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
