did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
