i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
