He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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