hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
