and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
