What did we do last night that was yellow?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
