I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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