Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
