Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
