you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just sent this text using only my big toe
In America we eat man semen.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
