we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize