Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this just has baby written all over it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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