yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im holly from the hills drunk
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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