my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
