and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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