i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
