Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
