Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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