that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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