Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
