I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
