In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
