Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
