I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You were trust falling into bushes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
