need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
