I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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