Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
