God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
