I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's the barista slut.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize