When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
