Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
