I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
