Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
